Should Teens Be Allowed to Date?

Our family has chosen to not allow our girls to date until they are ready to consider marriage (which won't be for a while yet). Lest you think I am being too prudish, I offer this article from Acculturated for your consideration.

Think about the purpose of dating. It’s not just some fun thing people do. It’s going into dating with that mindset that takes a wrecking ball to the heart. 

No, the most essential purpose of dating is to seek out and get to know a potential spouse. Sure dating also entails emotional and spiritual growth. But a big part of that growth is to prepare you to be a better spouse and parent. Life and nature have this pretty stubborn trajectory, and marriage and family is the direction we hurtle, whether we like it or not. 

So let’s go back to teen dating. Pretty sure there is a broad consensus that teenagers should not get married. With the exception of maybe the Duggar family, people on both sides of the aisle tend to agree that men and women should be emotionally (and heck, physically) mature before they take lifelong vows, especially if those vows are to stand a chance of actually being life-long. Ok maybe the Duggars are a bad example because Josh Duggar (married son) actually seems like more of a man than your average 30 year-old. But I digress.

Heck, call me a bad social conservative, but I don’t even think women should get married until they are in their mid-twenties and have had a little time to experience some independence after college, which yes, I think they should attend. Unmarried. 

The average female body doesn’t even stop growing until around the age of 25. And call me crazy, but it seems un-ideal for a woman to have a baby when her body is still growing and developing. And considering that babies are the natural result of marriage, well – it’s worth thinking about these things.

Yes, it is worth thinking about these things. Unfortunately, many families don't carefully consider the pros and cons of teenage dating before allowing their children to pursue relationships. And it's best to start thinking about it early before your kids are teenagers.

Daily Links 10-28-13

An always entertaining assortment of links served fresh daily. In today's post, the most famous book set in each state, giving up the news, busyness is the enemy of good, and more.

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Here's a roundup of the most famous book set in each state in the United States. What do you think of the selection from your home state? I'm not sure that I agree with the selection for Virginia. (Hat tip: Susan Wise Bauer)

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Long before we gave up cable (a story for another day) I had pretty much stopped watching the news. Part of the reason is much of the primetime programming isn't really news at all. Mostly my decision to stop watching the news came from this song by Chris Rice:

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Busyness is the enemy:

Charles Spurgeon wisely said, “Learn to say no. It will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin.” And I not so wisely have turned myself into a pretzel trying to learn Latin. Not actually read Latin, of course, just do the mental equivalent of it. It takes its toll on my energy, my spiritual growth, my relationships, and my ability to do anything well.

I don’t see life slowing down anytime in the next weeks or months. In fact, I know I’m on the threshold of what could be one of the busiest or deepest growth seasons of my life. I want to be faithful with the time, to redeem it, to rest in it, to rely on the Father through it. But this is my confession—busy is the other four-letter word for me. I hate busy. It is just as much a thief of my soul as being “fine.”

Hat tip: Blogging Theologically

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A roundup of the ten best songs about baseball players.

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A neat collection of family tradition ideas.

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Aaron Earls asks some tough and necessary questions about teenagers and social media:

A 12-year-old girl in Florida committed suicide after she was repeatedly and relentlessly bullied online by classmates. Unfortunately, these types of stories are becoming more and more frequent with too many parents being caught unaware of what their child was enduring.

As a parent of three, one of which just started middle school this year, these stories make me want to lock him in a room until he's no longer a threat to himself or others. Or even more to the point, I want to perfectly shield him from other students who seemingly fail to recognize as human those different from them. 

But I know that's not possible. Being hurt is part of living and growing. Love, on some level, requires at least the possibility of pain. Love takes risks. That goes for him as he is growing and it goes for me as a parent. Loving him means I allow him to grow and I risk letting him be hurt. 

Having said that, loving him also means I do not remain blind to avoidable dangers that lurk in front of him. He may not see them, but it's my job to spot them and protect him as needed. One of the dangers that parents seem to continually be naive to is social media, until it is too late as was the case in Florida.

So I'm going to ask parents two questions about social media. Hopefully, this steps on toes and anger some people because something needs to change or we will continue to see deadly consequences of cyber bullying.

Daily Links 10-21-13

Is Paleo just a fad diet, the downfalls of teenagers on social media, the differences between buzzwords and leadership, and more in today's roundup of links.

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Is Paleo just another fad diet or is there something more to it? Speaking from personal experience, Paleo has been a life-changing decision for me. About a year ago I was getting sick all the time. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. My doctor was stumped. Then I finally stumbled across Breaking the Vicious Cycle and started following the guidelines closely. My health changed dramatically and started to lose weight. Paleo is closely related to the Specific Carbohydrate Diet and the approaches are similar. Eating Paleo has made a big difference in my life. If you're dealing with digestive issues it's worth a try to see if it will make a difference.

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This week marks the return of Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot to the small screen. Of course, Britain gets to see it first. American viewers will have to wait until next year thanks to PBS. To whet your appetite, ITV has posted a trailer on their website. These will be the last four movies in the entire canon.

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Habits of successful people: They start before they feel ready. This is a fascinating article.

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Have you ever looked closely at company logos? They may be trying to tell you something.

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This is a frightening list: seven everyday foods that could kill you. (Hat tip: Food Riot)

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The downside of teenagers being constantly connected to their electronic devices. For what its worth, this is an area where we have treaded carefully with our own daughters.

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10 differences between buzzwords and leadership:

On several occasions when teaching, I’ve noted the difference between buzzwords and leadership. In fact, I think that a key facet of leadership is knowing the difference between a strategy and a collection of buzzwords. In the corporate world, there are a multitude of buzzwords (and phrases) that need to fall out of existence. And, yes, I’m an offending party on several of these.

Hat tip: Justin Taylor

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I find to-do lists are really helpful in managing my day to day tasks. Here's a fascinating history of the to-do list and how to make them work better for you.

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This is fun: A list of 25 movies that you might not know were based on books.(Hat tip: Book Riot)

Weekend Links 9-7-13

In case you missed it, some of the links featured here during the week:

Don't Let Social Media Ruin Your Marriage

Tips for Teenage Girls on Social Media

Nutella Cake (with recipe and photos)

Ten Questions to Help You Identify Your Calling/Vocation

World War I prisoner asks for leave to visit dying mother, agrees to return to prison (and does)

Test your grammar skills: You Can't Write Proper English Under Pressure

Are you a Calvinist?

Life Lessons from Winnie the Pooh

Facebook Ruins Friendships

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day that has teenagers and we were discussing problems in relationships. It seems that her daughter was having some problems with friends that was exacerbated by things that were being posted via text message and Facebook. I then ran across this column about how Facebook can ruin friendships and thought it really struck a chord.All of this made me think about all the stupid things I did as a teenager and how glad I am that I didn't have technology available to make me more stupid. Frankly, I don't know how teenagers today manage. Perhaps we're all better off not relying so heavily on technology to help us maintain contact with our friends.